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11/28/2001 Entry: "babies can build cities"

Dedicated to Armando & Christie:

Every day I try to give MB a little “naked time.“ I do this for many reasons: 1. Babies generate a lot of laundry. Tons. The amount can actually be offensive at times. Especially if you hate doing laundry as much as I do. 2. I feel that it’s good for babies to be naked - to be able to feel all of the different textures of everything around them when they‘re just learning about their senses. The dog’s fur on your back feels much different than it does on the bottom of your foot. 3. Naked babies are adorable. And 4. hell, who doesn’t like to run around naked?

MB was enjoying some naked time today when I noticed the pungent odor coming from his diapered region. So I did what I do numerous times throughout the day and changed his diaper. While changing it, I noticed he had a bit of diaper rash. I made the decision to let the kid go full-force-nekkid to help alleviate the rash a bit. He loved it! He just crawled and cruised around faster than ever - a little more aerodynamic without the diaper hindering him, I guess. I was loving it so much and came to the realization that I just don’t have very many naked baby pictures. I mean, I’ve got the lobster photos, which I can use to embarrass him someday. But naked baby pictures are the ultimate humiliation item to have.

I went to the other room and got the camera from the diaper bag. When I came back into the nursery, MB was facing me in the doorway. He was on all fours and just looked so endearing, that I immediately snapped a shot. That’s when I noticed the look on his face. Oohhhhh, I know that look! As his face turned a deeper shade of purple, I lunged towards his backend and sure enough, I saw just what I was expecting.

My kid shit on the floor.

He was just putting the finishing touches on a perfect, little tower of poo. And as soon as he topped it off, off he went, nearly knocking that little poo tower over with his foot. My first reaction was to grab the nearest diaper and put it on backwards as he crawled, just in case he decided that he wasn’t quite finished. But he was finished, and off to better things, squealing with glee.

During this entire escapade, I found myself howling. Besides the initial, “Shiiit!” that I shrieked in the slow-mo style as I lunged for the backend of the baby, there was really nothing else to do but laugh. I even found myself chuckling about it hours later. And again, as I write this.

This must be the type of preparation all parents are put through. The tests we’re given now, so we’ll be able to handle the much larger, nastier messes that will surely come along in the future. The messes that are most likely unable to be picked up with only a paper towel. I’m just glad to know that I can have a sense of humor about things I would not have found one bit amusing a few years ago.

But now, I do find a little tower of poo on my floor quite funny. Go figure.